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4.20.2010

The Darkest Side

I heard this song for the first time on a grassy field at Coachella. I was enchanted by the sound of the voices singing it. Then I looked over and saw that it was having the same effect on my best friend, but while I was frozen she was sobbing. With tears were streaming down her face I realized that they were the physical manifestation of loss and sadness and heartbreak for our friend. She rarely lets it crack; that well woven mask of happiness and joy that shields and hides the pain of her loss...but when the walls do come down the wound is still fresh. This is not to say that her smiling demeanor is a facade, because she laughs and smiles with as much honesty as anybody else. But we all try to keep sadness and loss at bay, because a life cannot be lived if we are forever dwelling in unexpected tragedies.

Maybe if my mom listened to this song she might feel a little better.
I think like Emily, she's internalized a lot of the pain that happens when you lose the people you love.

I think about her when I hear music like this.
and between the tears and the broken heart I wonder what she is thinking.
I always wonder how she does it. How she is such a rock. How she is probably the strongest woman I've ever met.
I wonder if I'll ever be like her.


Lyrics to The Darkest Side by the Middle East

Love
It’s the air in your mother’s lungs
When her fathers tore her fences down
Plastic bags and the panadol was out

Love
Was a sold Gibson 335
And your father’s dream died that night
Just to keep that electricity on

And it’s the darkest side of my heart that dies when you come to me
And it’s the golden ticket I win when you kill my enemies
I hear the farthest cry and the softest sigh when I’m empty
But if you leave me I’ll hide in a game like SimCity

Oh when I die I’m alive
And when I lose I find
My identity

Son
If I died on my bedroom floor
Would you cry on your bedroom floor?
And tattoo my name underneath your arm

Love
That was alive in the olden days
Been put to death in this golden age
By our colour TV

And it’s the darkest side of my heart that dies when you come to me
And it’s the golden ticket I win when you kill my enemies
I hear the farthest cry and the softest sigh when I’m empty
But if you leave me I’ll get me gone and drown face down muddy in the water

Oh when I die…
When I die…

Die I’m alive
When I lose I find
My identity

Love
Was those dark clouds on the Friday
It was a holy shaking earthquake
And you were stuck up the tree

And it’s the darkest side of my heart that dies when you come to me
Oh it’s the golden ticket I win when you kill my enemies
I hear the farthest cry and the softest sigh when I’m empty
But if you leave me I’d hello goodbye and I don’t shine at night look I’m dead man

Oh when I die…
When I die…
When I die…

When I die I’m alive
When I lose I find
My identity


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